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Hull and much of the North West face toughest restrictions The gloom is lifting, now let's get going! Reality bites for Chancellor: As Rishi Sunak confronts true horror of Covid bill, top economists spell out Michigan votes to certify Joe Biden's victory in the state in another blow to Donald Trump's bid to Grandparents in care homes could be allowed home for Christmas: Boris Johnson plans to end 'nine months of Families with a child under the age of one will be allowed to link up with another household under new Princess Michael of Kent, 75, is diagnosed with coronavirus and is suffering from 'extreme fatigue and Fans will be allowed into stadiums from December 2, with up to 4, watching in Tier 1 areas - but Premier Doctors ask people vulnerable to covid to sign 'do not resuscitate' orders to ease pressure on Swiss LSE law graduate, 24, who plunged 30ft to her death from road bridge through gap between carriageway after Petra Ecclestone's ex-husband James Stunt was visited by 'up to five women a week' and ordered security Labour's chief whip demands Jeremy Corbyn 'unequivocally' apologises for causing 'distress and pain' to the One of UK's biggest school textbook makers vows to 'flip harmful gender stereotypes' in its products so China launches its Chang'e-5 lunar mission to bring back rocks from the moon for the first time in Sarko in the dock: Nicolas Sarkozy becomes first French president to appear in court on criminal charges as Pictured: Mother-of-two killed after being hit by car while trying to take a photo of the I'm a Celebrity Baby killer who murdered girlfriend's month-old son after four weeks of abuse is found dead in prison New magnetic spray transforms pills into mini robots that can be navigated throughout the body to a targeted I have stumbled on at least two of these.

Literally, once or twice. After too many recent juggling-related mishaps, I have come to the realisation that the only thing for it — for this life of unpredictable work schedules and frequently travelling second parents and childminders spread into the far corners of the county and small people frequently stricken with winter viruses — is an au pair. I set up a profile on some au pair matching websites, with my own smug warning ringing in my ears. Irish people are not cut out for au pairs.

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  • Too inclined to say the opposite of what we mean, I declared in these very pages with the luxury of one whose childcare arrangements were, at the time, relatively straightforward. We are a people more comfortable in servitude than being served. We clean before the cleaner arrives. Here I am, one year on, redecorating before the au pair arrives. Looking for your first au pair is like dating again for happily married women in their 40s.

    If you managed all three in the one night, and a kebab on the way home, you knew it was serious. There was only standing in draughty hallways with freezing fingers fumbling to get coins into payphone slots.

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    The benefit of this was that lying to yourself was so much easier. Of course he lost your number.

    Of course he tried to call when you were out. Of course your flatmate forgot to tell you.

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    If you wanted to be certain of ever actually seeing one another again, you had to move in together and then, after a whirlwind romance of, say, 10 to 15 years, you got married. It was all so much more straightforward. Then I enlisted the services of two of the wisest people I know to help me go through the applications. Why not? Before I could investigate this prescient but slightly worrying insight, the year-old was writing another one off. What about her, I asked. Nope, they both said immediately. Why would we want a romantic au pair? Our members are either married or looking for married palymates.


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