Next, it was my turn to thank the men in my life. I started with my exes—I figured that all the rules of a normal date were already out—but before I could get past the first name, it was time to rotate.
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I had ended my first rendezvous knowing nothing about the man in front of me except that he loved his family. I guess that was something. The mini dates that followed alternated from bizarre to surprising to super-uncomfortable. At a certain point, I tied my hair up so one man could massage my neck while I was supposed to tell him what he was doing well and what I wanted more of. The facilitator told me I was practicing the relationship skill of feedback.
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Later, in a strange therapeutic moment, I found myself seated in front of a man, holding his hands and pronouncing all the things I wanted to let go of— procrastination, hurt, grief. When I stood up, I actually felt lighter. But I never spoke to him again. As I went through the rotations, I began to crave the small talk I had come here to avoid. While these men were supposedly looking into my soul — or at least trying to — we had skipped over all pleasantries and all the facts about ourselves, all of which suddenly seemed a vital stepping stone to actual intimacy.
As I took my position in front of my last date of the night, I finally felt my first hint of chemistry.
But then we were told that we could lie down. I put my head on his chest, and I felt his fingers lightly stroking the outside of my arm. And right at that moment, on the hardwood floor, the attraction vanished.
Here’s what happens at a night of Tantric speed dating
It was definitely too much. I wondered then what would have happened if we had started with a walk on Valencia. Unlike that man, who manages to break the almost tangible tension in the air with those few words that ultimately lead to conversation, I remain silent. I make myself as small as I can, wedged between a pile of mats and a thick red velvet curtain that is inexplicably draped across the hallway as we wait to go in.
Make of that what you will. The majority of men look like they work in IT and have come from the office. One woman in her 50s, perhaps the most confident in the room, wears an interesting combination of cycling shorts, a crushed velvet top, trainers and blue eyeshadow and she stands, wide-stanced, hands on hip, in the middle of the space, eyeing up her prey.
There are a lot of tops and trousers with kitten heels and one women, who signs us in when we arrive, wears a sweeping floor-length red dress with white polka dots.
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I also wear a dress which is floor-length, but only at the back. At the front its sits knee high, which turns out to be a mistake, as I have to try my best not to flash everyone during the many legs-crossed, on-the-floor exercises that come later. It was Guy who had the idea to combine tantra with dating when he noticed a pattern in clients telling him they found it hard to meet people in New York. That is what Tantra is about and it forms the backbone of the philosophy around Tantric dating too. I was 5. I might as well have walked in on my parents doing it.
The men are handed empty pouches, each with a number on the front, which they too wear as jewellery for the evening.
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As we move into the candlelit studio, we remove our shoes and are asked to stand in a traditional puja circle. With phones on silent and in bags, ridding us of that electronic prop we so often turn to in challenging social situations, we continue to bask a little longer in that awkward silence until Guy kickstarts the night. I count 36 of us. We start by doing a school-like energy experiment, led by Guy, before going around the room, introducing ourselves and saying what we want to get from the evening.
As does the late something man that she towers over next to her. Met 8 lovely sound guys in one evening and ticked 3 boxes : Hopefully, someone will tick mine!
Linda August Need to chat or get some advice contact us at admin 2connect. We throw all kinds of events including speed dating follow us on Facebook to hear about our next event in your area. Speed Dating Speed Dating is about having great fun and meeting lots of open minded people.
More Info. All the best, Hugh Match me. Coaching I am a dating expert and coach. Networking Try our Networking events to meet business professionals to broaden your career network. Pub Quiz test out our popular Pub Quiz events. You could walk away with a prize and your perfect match! Coaching My coaching services gives you expert advice and a path to dating success.
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Wedding Bells Hugh, I got married in Trim a week ago! Flirting Fun What a great night!
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